One Step Further

I really got no idea what i should do, it getting harder for me to continue, cozs i knew that watever i do u wun saw it. Sometime i really felt frustrated, am i the type of guy that so so not outstanding that u wun saw me at all. Haiz..

So long never update my blog and nw i brieftly describe my uni life. Its one week of MMP ( Minggu Mesra Pelajar ), during that 1week, we can only sleep for 2hour eriday, and during that week, i can feel myself is floating on the floor, and fall asleep even im standing. Then we got no time to bath also, even take our lunch or dinner also nid to be very fast. But during that week, our senior rili so care for us and try to help us to get more time to rest, really appreciate that.

After MMP den our kuliah started, is very diff from secondary skol life, v have to find our place to go, and no ppl will tell u where to go. Then the lecturer also blah blah blah infront den ask u go dl the notes. Then some class also very far from each other dewan kuliah, den v have to rush.

Then tis week i can say got happy and not happy things also, happy things is i grow up d, i can independent by myself, the sad things is again, i miss u so much, bt eri time try to closer to u u will push me away. PLEASE dun push me away, i noe im nt enuf good, i try to improving myself, i will try my best to give u the best future. Anyway, i see u happy i also will feel happy, mayb u still love him, cant say mayb i think, its the truth, but i jz wish u can live happily, i didnt request anythg from u.

Then i will stdy so hard to achieve my dream, GO GO GO!!

Time to leave my home d, and the sad things is u going so far, maybe we dun have much chance to meet anymore, hopefully u wun forget me. U will never though the people that i miss is u, cozs in ur heart got another him, its ok cozs i noe i can't give u anythg, as long as u happy den enuf. =)

Mom i will miss u! and my lovely home also. And i will miss u also, i noe u wun miss me, gambate ba, ur journey will be get harder, i will always be ur side.

These few day rili quite bz with preparing the stuff to get into university, have to certify those certificate, ptptn loan, then the dressing for orientation, my living stuff. Sometimes feel tired of it.

Time pass so far, i'm 20 now, but i still looks like a small kid, scare this scare that, sometime wondering, can i to be independent to live alone? But i will try the best to change myself, not kid anymore d, some people at this age already people's father. U have to independent and no one will help u in the future, be strong =)

Work hard and never give up, until i achieve my goal!!

Few days ago, i went back to hometown, to have a visit to my relative, and that time went to many place also. Now onli i noe that perak also got alot nice view and historical  building like Kelly's Castle which have a touching love story behind, there was many nice temple which is built inside the cave like Kek Lok Tong, Nam Tien Tong and many more. But i like Kek Lok Tong the most since it was so natural and not commercialize like the others.

Here some photo from there.

Can't slp and writing blog, finally i got my first choice in UPU and got UKM statistic and i was so happy that it was a 3years course, thats the reason i choice UKM also.

UKM website down again, yesterday i was too tired and i thought wake up in the morning only download the form but once i check the website, i getting frustrated, the webpage is not available, but luckily i was accepted the offer.

I ready for the challenge and i want to graduate with flying colors and achieve my goal!! If after 3years, i was achieve what i should do and you are still available, i will tell u whats in my heart. Its my promiss, i just want to give u the life that better =) Miss u.

I just finished half of the photoshop book, the happy case is now i know to use level, hue/saturation, selection tools. Its a good beginning, but i know that my time was not many left, another 3weeks from now i should in the university, sometime i really quite worry of it, it will decide my future, if i got my first choice, then i will go for my dreamed job, if not then i will go IT field. But in actually, i love IT more than math, but what to do, in reality money really so important, don't tell me ur ambitious, if u don't have money, u got nothing!! Yeah, i'm admit that i'm that kind of materialistic people. U all can look down on me, but the experience on me, u all won't undsderstand!! Be myself, live for myself, the new style i should be =)

As the time pass, i just know that i really poor of friend, everytime signed in to msn, can't be deny that my contact list have many online contact but the 'friend' at there never find me, and everytime i'm the one who aggressively go and say hi to them. Sometime i really i feel myself was failed in my life, i'm really don't have friend? Ya, i got those 'friend', in word call friend but in reality they didn't treat u as their friend, they will treat u invisible. Ya, in word they will act like so care for u, but in reality they just don't want to add another enemy in their life.

In my life, i had fall in love with quite a number of girl, others ppl maybe will treat me as playing around, but i could say that i use my heart to treat them. I would say sorry to them, cause their caring make me misunderstand, and make me fall in love with them, and i know that no one will love me, i also know that i'm that kind of people that so irritating. U think that so funny when fall in love with one people? When u know that that people that u love actually don't have any feeling to u u think the feeling very nice? Ya, i'm admit that i really hope to have a relationship cause i just want a people to care for me, love me, is that too over? I'm really get hurt enough, i really not dare to think bout it anymore, i given up, its my faith.

Beside that, maybe my expectation to a friend is too much, I will hope a friend that will always care for me, understand me, the reality is actually i don't even have a friend, i'm lone ranger, eat alone, hang out alone, shopping alone. Maybe i'm a kind of friend that not worth other ppl to care bout me, same point, they just don't want add another enemy in their life.

Anyway i would say thank you to all those 'friend', cause without u all, i won't be so independent and strong, i won't die because of lonely!! Its me, i prefer to be alone, but not to pretend!!