As the time pass, i just know that i really poor of friend, everytime signed in to msn, can't be deny that my contact list have many online contact but the 'friend' at there never find me, and everytime i'm the one who aggressively go and say hi to them. Sometime i really i feel myself was failed in my life, i'm really don't have friend? Ya, i got those 'friend', in word call friend but in reality they didn't treat u as their friend, they will treat u invisible. Ya, in word they will act like so care for u, but in reality they just don't want to add another enemy in their life.

In my life, i had fall in love with quite a number of girl, others ppl maybe will treat me as playing around, but i could say that i use my heart to treat them. I would say sorry to them, cause their caring make me misunderstand, and make me fall in love with them, and i know that no one will love me, i also know that i'm that kind of people that so irritating. U think that so funny when fall in love with one people? When u know that that people that u love actually don't have any feeling to u u think the feeling very nice? Ya, i'm admit that i really hope to have a relationship cause i just want a people to care for me, love me, is that too over? I'm really get hurt enough, i really not dare to think bout it anymore, i given up, its my faith.

Beside that, maybe my expectation to a friend is too much, I will hope a friend that will always care for me, understand me, the reality is actually i don't even have a friend, i'm lone ranger, eat alone, hang out alone, shopping alone. Maybe i'm a kind of friend that not worth other ppl to care bout me, same point, they just don't want add another enemy in their life.

Anyway i would say thank you to all those 'friend', cause without u all, i won't be so independent and strong, i won't die because of lonely!! Its me, i prefer to be alone, but not to pretend!!