One Step Further

These few day rili quite bz with preparing the stuff to get into university, have to certify those certificate, ptptn loan, then the dressing for orientation, my living stuff. Sometimes feel tired of it.

Time pass so far, i'm 20 now, but i still looks like a small kid, scare this scare that, sometime wondering, can i to be independent to live alone? But i will try the best to change myself, not kid anymore d, some people at this age already people's father. U have to independent and no one will help u in the future, be strong =)

Work hard and never give up, until i achieve my goal!!

Few days ago, i went back to hometown, to have a visit to my relative, and that time went to many place also. Now onli i noe that perak also got alot nice view and historical  building like Kelly's Castle which have a touching love story behind, there was many nice temple which is built inside the cave like Kek Lok Tong, Nam Tien Tong and many more. But i like Kek Lok Tong the most since it was so natural and not commercialize like the others.

Here some photo from there.

Can't slp and writing blog, finally i got my first choice in UPU and got UKM statistic and i was so happy that it was a 3years course, thats the reason i choice UKM also.

UKM website down again, yesterday i was too tired and i thought wake up in the morning only download the form but once i check the website, i getting frustrated, the webpage is not available, but luckily i was accepted the offer.

I ready for the challenge and i want to graduate with flying colors and achieve my goal!! If after 3years, i was achieve what i should do and you are still available, i will tell u whats in my heart. Its my promiss, i just want to give u the life that better =) Miss u.

I just finished half of the photoshop book, the happy case is now i know to use level, hue/saturation, selection tools. Its a good beginning, but i know that my time was not many left, another 3weeks from now i should in the university, sometime i really quite worry of it, it will decide my future, if i got my first choice, then i will go for my dreamed job, if not then i will go IT field. But in actually, i love IT more than math, but what to do, in reality money really so important, don't tell me ur ambitious, if u don't have money, u got nothing!! Yeah, i'm admit that i'm that kind of materialistic people. U all can look down on me, but the experience on me, u all won't undsderstand!! Be myself, live for myself, the new style i should be =)

As the time pass, i just know that i really poor of friend, everytime signed in to msn, can't be deny that my contact list have many online contact but the 'friend' at there never find me, and everytime i'm the one who aggressively go and say hi to them. Sometime i really i feel myself was failed in my life, i'm really don't have friend? Ya, i got those 'friend', in word call friend but in reality they didn't treat u as their friend, they will treat u invisible. Ya, in word they will act like so care for u, but in reality they just don't want to add another enemy in their life.

In my life, i had fall in love with quite a number of girl, others ppl maybe will treat me as playing around, but i could say that i use my heart to treat them. I would say sorry to them, cause their caring make me misunderstand, and make me fall in love with them, and i know that no one will love me, i also know that i'm that kind of people that so irritating. U think that so funny when fall in love with one people? When u know that that people that u love actually don't have any feeling to u u think the feeling very nice? Ya, i'm admit that i really hope to have a relationship cause i just want a people to care for me, love me, is that too over? I'm really get hurt enough, i really not dare to think bout it anymore, i given up, its my faith.

Beside that, maybe my expectation to a friend is too much, I will hope a friend that will always care for me, understand me, the reality is actually i don't even have a friend, i'm lone ranger, eat alone, hang out alone, shopping alone. Maybe i'm a kind of friend that not worth other ppl to care bout me, same point, they just don't want add another enemy in their life.

Anyway i would say thank you to all those 'friend', cause without u all, i won't be so independent and strong, i won't die because of lonely!! Its me, i prefer to be alone, but not to pretend!!

Don't know why i feel lonely 2day, i just feel myself was isolated, thats why i choose to be silent, its different feeling already, i tried so hard to pull our relation closer but i'm really tired of it, since u all treat me as nothing, why don't we pretend we never met each other before rite?

This is the last time i will present, not i mean to do that, but u all didn't appreciate.

Yesterday, there was a celebration for birthday of my sister and mother, since they are just few day different of date of birth. At the morning, we went to Midvalley to shoppping, and i was so lucky, the lucky draw from Wah Chan, i'm the one who got it, it was not a luxury thing but i show that i got the luck, hopefully it will help in my coming upu result.

Around 5pm, we depart from Midvalley to Puchong to the shabu shabu shop, its all u can eat, when u see those word, then u will eat 'die die', finally we all holding our stomach when we go home.

And at here i wish my mommy and my sis Happy Birthday!! I love u all!!