One Step Further

I knew that, but y i lying to myself?

Juz have nothing to do at the nite and juz write somethg happened in these few day ba.

As usual eriday went to class, and so stupid i am go and think, whether i choose the wrong course and today my mom ask me the same ques, am i regret to choose this course? and i answered her, am i have the opportunity to regret? no. i wun regret and i wun let myself to regret, once i chose it, den i wun regret, i will work for it, even though nw i rili suffer alot, can say duno erithg, but hope i rili can dun giv up and continue on it. I rili so hope u can support me also.

Juz duno y, i rili no confident to myself, all the thg of me, how to improve my confident? I rili got no idea bout it. Sum time i rili dream that how good if im a handsome guy. haha. funny rite? Even go out with friend i also will felt that, would the ppl will feel shame on me? bcozs im looks ugly.

Ppl say true heart is erithg, but i saw is most ppl onli look at the appearance first before judge at u. I remember last time during my muet speaking, my topic is does ur partner appearance looks good is the criteria to choose ur partner? And i think most ppl will hope that their partner is looking good. I rili dunno y sumtime i stil will dream bout that however i noe that what i dreamed is wun happen, cozs no ppl will wan to go out wit a guy and the surrounding ppls look at her bcozs she holding a ugly boy hand rite? Rili feel myself so funny.

Its ok, to be strong NICK!! I noe u can do it, as i said "Love a person not meaning that u must together with her, but hope that she will get the happiness."

Everything back to normal when holiday finish, i noe i have done something that hurt u, but i promiss never do that ever again.

But from that day, at least i noe sumthing, that is u care for me. I already treat u as a part in my life, not report everything to u but duno y i juz wan to share with u, wan u to noe. Same goes to u, i hope that to noe erithg bout u.

Just let erithg to go as normal, mayb the ending won't be the same, i hope so and i promiss i won't do that to u too.

Just trust me k?

Sorry if i make u sad, i duno wat happen to me these few day i was jz so down.

I promiss i wun let u feel sad again. Trust me k?

I do all the things bcozs i rili care for u so much.

Heart broken.

If u think is good for u den keep going on.

I will do as ur wish. Hope u will happy with it.

Do u trust me?

This holiday actually nothing special happen also, but have went alot of place, especial the day that go out with u.  Watched the Pirhana, it was a great movie, saw u r so scare at there, duno y i smile, nt bcozs of laughing at u, bt jz a feeling that can't be explain using word. But c from ur face, although u said u wun feel bored, but from ur face i noe that its nt a type of enjoying. Wun call u outing wit me d, jz dun1 to c u nt happy.

Then, on wed, the birthday celebration is so successfully, at first i though nt many ppl r coming, bt at last many was came, noe both of u happy of it, den i also feel happy too. Thx to u all, without u all it wun b success. =)

On thursday nite, me and my family went to a German restaurant to celebrating for my bro in law birthday, the restaurant is located at Jln Yap Kwan Seng there, it was hiding behind a building, if my sis didnt tell me the way, i sure cant find it. The food at there is looks nice, we ordered pork knuckle, sausage since those food is famous.

Then on saturday, i went to KLCC to meet my friends, but it was nt succeed, i also duno wat happen to me, i waited more than 30min den i went bek d, watever, maybe is my fault to expect eri1 is so punctual.

And last, i have decided to change myself, a totally diff of me, feel sick of others look down on me, i believe that without love i stil can survive, cozs i born to be lone ranger, tis my fate. U r the last in my life, bt u will in my heart, cozs i noe im nt the man that u wan, hope u can get a person that will love u more than i do in the future. =)