One Step Further

Now only i realize i'm not important for you, just my misunderstand that and thought that i was so important, funny.

It's the time i should leave, slowly.... slowly....

and you will forget my existance in your life.

Hope you can find the man and get your happiness, god bless you. =)

Bye..

Quite frustrated with it, i realize that i was always the last choice for u. Everytime i was asking u to hang out with me, u will always answer me that "See how la.", however sometime i was booking the time 1month early, u also will told me that, sorry have to go out with friends. You will always leave the last slot to me, if u were no one asking u to go out or u was too bored. Maybe i know the answer, u was not willing to hang out with me and u r not interested to see me also, but i just keep lying to myself and say maybe u are not free.

Because I'm the last slot for u, u will miss for everyone but not me, so u are not interested to meet with me also. Just let it be, maybe i have to learn to accept the reality. Since the reality is like that, i will adapt with it and i think i won't appear anymore, cozs it's no meaning anymore, let me disappear.

I would say thanks to you, because you are the one who always supporting me. When i'm down, you are the one who talk with me, encourage me. You are the best girl that i met, just want to say sorry that i fall in love with you.

I appreciate our friendship, maybe sometime i said some words that might hurt u, but i really not to mean it, i knew that sometimes i was expected too much from you, is my fault.

Just want to say thanks again, the route that i passed, you are always there for me. For me, you the only one and the last girl in my life, and i won't request anything from you, just treat me as your friend then enough, is my fate to meet you, and is my fate to care for you.

If there's no more the day after tomorrow, i will never regret, cause i have a very good friend, the best ever girl in my life. I wish you happy always and all the best =)

Just a normal day for me, went to Ampang Korean Village having a korean BBQ dinner, not fantastic but juz have a harmony dinner. Next time will go for another restaurant cozs there got alot of korean restaurant at there, maybe nid to take a long time to test all the food at there.

As expected it won't happen also, so not too disappointed also, know that u won't feel anything also. Juz let it be. Cozs i'm nothing, now i realise 1thg, scorpio is so lonely.

Grow up de, act like a adult please =)

My heart was so pain, now only i noe that say is easy than practicing it. I really cant put it down..

Actually was so sad, just know that i was nothing for u, u will miss all of ur friend, but not me. U was mentioned to me, u was so happy that this sem break u can meet them and see them cozs u miss them alot. U will so happy outing with them, and without me, u will happier, my existance is a fault. Promissed myself, won't let u c me anymore, maybe good for u also. Slowly, slowly, i will disappear in ur life, but u r always in my heart. When i miss u, i will c ur photo in facebook, that what u always tell me. When i see u r happy with the others, is enuf for me, juz hope that u r happy.

2morrow my birthday, actually so hope that at least u will care for it, but i'm wrong, u will care for every friend and so excited to celebrate for the others but not mine. Just feel myself was funny, thought i was important for u, actually i'm nothing for u, maybe a new friend of u, u will will concern them more. Just was a dream hope that, at least my birthday was celebrating with u, but it just a dream, and the dream will never come true. I hate my birthday, it was so sucks!!

If I say I feel so down now, what u will tell me? But i won't let u know, cozs u're not interest to know that.

These few day keep on waste money only, but bought the things that i wanted. I'm a type of ppl that so materialistic, what to do, know how to waste money but not find money, rili wait die.

Decided to live alone. =) I will do what I like. It sounds great rite?

Sometime will still look at ur profile, look at ur photo.

I was so weak and not dare to face the reality, just let it be and everything will get back normal soon.

Two is better than One?

No idea. =)

Suddenly understand something, since u choose that, I will respect u.

I think now is better, just let it be continue, live like we're dying. Yea =)

Just promiss myself, won't find u anymore =)

It's enough hurt when u use true heart to treat a person but that person not appreciate u at all. It's over. Love myself more and never do the things that will hurt me again.

Just use to it, i think this year birthday is alone again, every year also like that, just hope can celebrate with her, but i know if i saw ur emo on ur face, i prefer to be alone.

Be strong and love myself. =)

Make changes to my life now, slowly..

A statement by a friend, u have to learn how to love yourself before love others, maybe it is right, i have to learn how to love myself first.

Sometimes i might did many mistakes, now is the time to correct it, i have to learn how to live happily in this world, not only for myself, also for mom, hope my mom happy too, don't want to see her worry for me again.

=)

I will change all the thing, a new me.

说了又有用吗？

哈！可能大家的想法不一样吧，对我来说，两个人在一起只要对对方好，爱护对方，开心就好。太天真吧。。

只想说我会好好的爱你，只想看到你快乐，我不要求什么，愿有天你会找到一个真正能给你幸福的那个，而我会默默守护着你，直到永远，因为你在我心中永远都是我最爱的。

After Tuesday den official my semester break dy, i shud do what? Study for actuarial paper? I rili got no idea, i lost my confident, no more courage to think so far.

But what i can confirm is, after my semester break, is a new target for me and new hope. Hope this time wun make me disappointed again.

Smile =)

What i feel is the world is not that nice that i thought, why i said so? What u expected to have something, is not perfect as u wish.

I know if u don't commitment, is impossible to get money in this world, maybe is right, i should work hard for my external paper, cozs my family rili hope me to get it.

I will work hard, for myself and for my family also. =)

Juz a habit to write blog now.

Erm, 2day went badminton with my f6 friend, the feeling is not bad, cozs they will treat me like a real friend, at least no nid to defend myself at the moment. Just like normal, they chat non-stop at there, juz left me and tau juan play at there only, i'm kind a person dun like to socialize, maybe i'm not interest to care other's ppl stuff.

Sometime i think, and also wondering, i will alone in this world until the day i die, the probability is high, cause i'm not really like to social, i also duno wat is romantic.

Sometime really so hope got one ppl can accompany me, when i bored at least some one will chat with me, when i wan to go out, no nid to shopping alone. Lolz, think too much, no one will like u d la. Be prepare to be alone, u will use to it.

Happy alone!! =)

晚了，心情还是那么差，每次看到戏里的男女主角在一起，就会有酸酸的感觉，以为付出了，全心去关心一个人就可以得到爱，太天真了。

从小其实就是很想得到爱，可是很多时候都是没信心，因为在一个普通的家庭出生，也不是长的帅。也有对几个女生表白过，一次又一次，被伤害。像我一无是处的人，哪有女生会喜欢我啦，又没钱，所以很多时候都是默默的守候着我爱的女生，可是也有些时候还是忍不住表白了，明知被拒绝还是做了，很笨吧。

以为找到了一个明白我的女生，傻傻的，待在他身边，一直骗自己，以为她是关心我的，慢慢的知道其实他只是当你一个普通到不可以的朋友，她会嫌你的关心烦，有时也是敷衍我。

不过发现自己真的很喜欢他，会傻傻的等一晚不睡，为的是他一封信息。有时还傻到以为她发生什么事，担心了一阵天，原来她不想我烦她。记得一次他说下雨了，淋湿了，那一刻我真的很想在他身边，怕她冷了，好傻吧，明知她并不需要你，她身边太多其他人会保护她。有时经过服装店，我却想到她，如过穿在她身上一定很美吧，她知道的话，一定说我想太多。好想去关心她，保护她，看到她伤心，我比任何人都伤心。

其实真的很希望在我生日那天能和我爱的人庆祝，一年又一年，别人总会说有一天吧，你会找到你爱的人，但是从我爱的人口中出来，那种痛，无法形容。很多的好想，好想开心的时候可以和你分想。在别人眼中我就是那么酷，无情，我却在你眼里那么弱，因为我只会和我相信的人说我的心事，在别人面前我总会装得很强。

真的好想，哈！醒吧，不会有人会喜欢你的，想个木一样，不懂浪慢，就让我这一生一个人过吧，我的心不会复原了，真的很痛。只想对拒绝过我的人说，你们是对的，我那么没用，我会祝福你们的。

在别人面前要笑，知道吗？ =）

Finally i can rest for a week after so many days so suffering for the final exam. But i'm still worry for my result, i'm rili done badly on my exam, jz hope at least got 3.0 above.

Still got 1more sub den i'm free, wohoo!! Den i can go shopping and gather with my beloved friends.

Holiday, I'm coming!!

Sumtime rili undecide what to do.

I'm so useless rite? I also noe that.