-

可能我就是不懂得表达的人吧,很多人都说没看过我笑,也许吧,我就是比较严肃,我也不喜欢表达我自己。这两个月真的发生了很多事,可能我真的太冲懂想去爱你,跟本没理过你的感受。

说真的我真的很木,就连说笑话也没人会笑那种,更加不用说什么浪漫。

好想去改变我自己。新的一年就到了,我答应你,我会给你时间,就顺其自然吧,我也会去改,改掉我的坏脾气,想让你感到全新的我。=)

说到愿望,一样吧,这几年都是一样的愿望,最大的心愿就是和我心爱的你一起。还有大家开开心心,健康就好。

最后还是要和你说对不起,我真的过份了,原谅我。

Love is hard, especially love the one that not love you.

The day before i go back to study.

Today was a nice day, in the morning i went to PWTC for the 1Malaysia Food Fair, but it was nothing to see, because of my mother want to go there so have to follow. After that take LRT and monorail again to go Pavilion to meet up my friend, since there is a gathering, but i just can join them for a while cause have to have a nice lunch with my family. Just sit at there for an hour and i was ordered a 'Strawberry Lemonade', just sit at there and listen to them chit chat. So sad is my brother haven turn up and I have to leave earlier to meet my family.

Then I go back to Lot 10, meet up my family, have a lunch at Shabu One which located at Lot 10. This place was a great place, the food is fresh and many variety also. Maybe the time that we go not a peak hour for dining, so it's looks like we booked whole restaurant XD. I ate alot, lucky I still can move.

The next day I have to move to study again, I will miss u all, my friend, and YOU also, I miss u alot. Don't worry bout me, I will study hard, believe me. =) Hope the next break can meet up with u all again.

-

不知道你发觉吗?我们比以前好多了,不再为一点小事而吵了。也许有一件事你没发觉的,我们越来越像了,我说的是性格。我已经慢慢习惯了,慢慢的知道你心里想什么。

只知道自己对你的爱只有加没有减,但放心吧,我说过我不会乱想,只是想守护着你一辈子。你说过,我们是不一样的人,或许我们这一辈子都不会在一起,我愿意等,就算是下辈子,我都会等你,等你接受我的那一天。你也说过你不是我想像的那么好,可是我的心目中的你是最完美的,你是最美的。

可能所有的一切都是注定的吧,两个从不一样的家乡,来到这里,从性格不一样的我们,话都没几句的我们,现在变成了朋友。我从来没有生气你推开我,因为是我不够好。如果真的有下辈子,我一定会给你幸福的。

真的希望你幸福,就算是有一天,你对我说你喜欢了一个男生,可能我会很伤心,但是我会祝福你的,你是我的一切,你开心我就开心了。

-

Last time always got a friend who plan everything fine for us for the event, plan for us all the trip, but because of one time trip, she feel so disappointed because we all rejected her offer. Now i understand her feeling because when you planned all the things nicely but at last all the people just reject it. It's damn frustrated and the feeling is not nice.

So at the end, we also cancelled, i know that will happen also, because not the first time, just use to it. Next time won't waste my time on it, because i know it's not worth. 2nd sem coming, work harder ba. =)

Finally

Yeah, my account was banned. It prove one thing, this world got no free lunch. =)

Now i should focus more on my paper, Gambate!!

Its Blue

Just got my result, at first when i see my result i was quite happy d, but when heard the others result, i was feel so sad. Maybe i shud not expect too high from myself, cozs i'm not a brilliant guy, i juz a ordinary guy. It's the time to serious and work harder on my study. =)

I was missing you right now, but i noe u was busy, waiting for u to finish all your stuff. But i will never say it out, i was so scare the feeling that you leave me far far away, i hate that. Don't worry, i will only be there and protect you. You are my brightest star in my heart.

To be strong

13 days more to semester 2, resting too long at home and done nothing, the initial plan was failed. In this holiday i realize a lots of things, learn to be strong in my life, wake myself up from a sweet sweet dream.

Don't know why suddenly have a plan, to live alone forever, plan to buy a big house and have a pet with me - doggy. Just know that something that dreamed for a long just my imagination, no one will love me, so better end up with it and start my single life, learn to love myself more.

1 more thing that i worry is my result, gonna out on 10 Dec, i know my result won't be good cozs do it terribly. Next semester i will work harder, study for myself but not the others. =)

Live with no regrets.

越喜欢你,越没话跟你说·· via Facebook

不喜欢的人,可以容易地讲个笑话,随便地发个短信,
甚至,打去电话问对方有什么节目以便随时去参加。

喜欢的,却变成心里的死穴一个,动都不敢动,甚至,看到的时候,话都说不出来。
喜欢某个人,偏偏见到她,一句话没有。
看着旁边的朋友和她谈笑风生,心里又嫉妒又着急。
暗示或者表白心际,一句我爱你,永远不丢人。

如果我想你了
我会掏出手机
看看有没有你的短信

即使我知道
几率是那么的渺茫

如果我想你了
我会在手机上飞速的打下一连串的对你说的话
最后却始终没有按下发送的键
只是不想打扰你

如果我想你了
我会看我们的短信记录
不管是什么样的对话
始终有种甜蜜的感觉
因为在你面前
我好像总是长不大

如果我想你了
我会想
你是不是会想我呢?
哪怕
只有一秒钟的时间...

如果我想你了
我会听你推荐给我的音乐
细品歌词中的字字句句

如果我想你了
我会把思念换作节拍
让它在双手交辉中流露

如果我想你了
我会学着你的语气对自己说话
有的话很假

如果我想你了
我会哭
不会像以前那样给你电话给你短信
只会一个人躲在寝室偷着哭
然后
在你来电话的时候
假装放了静音 不接
之后平淡的发个短信回去
问你有事么

如果我想你了
其实没有如果
每天都很想你
电脑桌面是你
手机主题是你
Mp3相册是你
一切的一切都是你

我不打电话给你并不是我不关心你、只是不知说什么好、又怕你说烦 、打电话给你的不一定就一定很关心你··

Crap.

Told myself don't care anymore but why I can't put it down? You still the one that affect my emotion.

I know you don't want to see me anymore, no need to lie to me that you are so busy, just tell me you don't want to go out with me, I still can accept it. So funny is in your heart me is so so not important, ask you to go out, you say see you free anot, actually is you waiting to go out with your other friends, if your friends didn't ask you go out only you will find me. It's damn hurt, even your movie is more important than me.

Fine then, I will get lost.

I hate you but I love you.

Bye..

Now only i realize i'm not important for you, just my misunderstand that and thought that i was so important, funny.

It's the time i should leave, slowly.... slowly....

and you will forget my existance in your life.

Hope you can find the man and get your happiness, god bless you. =)

Bye..

The last choice

Quite frustrated with it, i realize that i was always the last choice for u. Everytime i was asking u to hang out with me, u will always answer me that "See how la.", however sometime i was booking the time 1month early, u also will told me that, sorry have to go out with friends. You will always leave the last slot to me, if u were no one asking u to go out or u was too bored. Maybe i know the answer, u was not willing to hang out with me and u r not interested to see me also, but i just keep lying to myself and say maybe u are not free.

Because I'm the last slot for u, u will miss for everyone but not me, so u are not interested to meet with me also. Just let it be, maybe i have to learn to accept the reality. Since the reality is like that, i will adapt with it and i think i won't appear anymore, cozs it's no meaning anymore, let me disappear.

Thanks

I would say thanks to you, because you are the one who always supporting me. When i'm down, you are the one who talk with me, encourage me. You are the best girl that i met, just want to say sorry that i fall in love with you.

I appreciate our friendship, maybe sometime i said some words that might hurt u, but i really not to mean it, i knew that sometimes i was expected too much from you, is my fault.

Just want to say thanks again, the route that i passed, you are always there for me. For me, you the only one and the last girl in my life, and i won't request anything from you, just treat me as your friend then enough, is my fate to meet you, and is my fate to care for you.

If there's no more the day after tomorrow, i will never regret, cause i have a very good friend, the best ever girl in my life. I wish you happy always and all the best =)

My birthday

Just a normal day for me, went to Ampang Korean Village having a korean BBQ dinner, not fantastic but juz have a harmony dinner. Next time will go for another restaurant cozs there got alot of korean restaurant at there, maybe nid to take a long time to test all the food at there.

As expected it won't happen also, so not too disappointed also, know that u won't feel anything also. Juz let it be. Cozs i'm nothing, now i realise 1thg, scorpio is so lonely.

Grow up de, act like a adult please =)

My heart was so pain, now only i noe that say is easy than practicing it. I really cant put it down..

Actually was so sad, just know that i was nothing for u, u will miss all of ur friend, but not me. U was mentioned to me, u was so happy that this sem break u can meet them and see them cozs u miss them alot. U will so happy outing with them, and without me, u will happier, my existance is a fault. Promissed myself, won't let u c me anymore, maybe good for u also. Slowly, slowly, i will disappear in ur life, but u r always in my heart. When i miss u, i will c ur photo in facebook, that what u always tell me. When i see u r happy with the others, is enuf for me, juz hope that u r happy.

2morrow my birthday, actually so hope that at least u will care for it, but i'm wrong, u will care for every friend and so excited to celebrate for the others but not mine. Just feel myself was funny, thought i was important for u, actually i'm nothing for u, maybe a new friend of u, u will will concern them more. Just was a dream hope that, at least my birthday was celebrating with u, but it just a dream, and the dream will never come true. I hate my birthday, it was so sucks!!


Juz a pair of bear, u will not happy if the bear was given by me. Juz keep it and when i see that, ur face will appear in my mind.

If I say I feel so down now, what u will tell me? But i won't let u know, cozs u're not interest to know that.

These few day keep on waste money only, but bought the things that i wanted. I'm a type of ppl that so materialistic, what to do, know how to waste money but not find money, rili wait die.

Decided to live alone. =) I will do what I like. It sounds great rite?

Sometime will still look at ur profile, look at ur photo.

I was so weak and not dare to face the reality, just let it be and everything will get back normal soon.

Two is better than One?

No idea. =)

Suddenly understand something, since u choose that, I will respect u.

I think now is better, just let it be continue, live like we're dying. Yea =)

Just promiss myself, won't find u anymore =)

It's enough hurt when u use true heart to treat a person but that person not appreciate u at all. It's over. Love myself more and never do the things that will hurt me again.

Just use to it, i think this year birthday is alone again, every year also like that, just hope can celebrate with her, but i know if i saw ur emo on ur face, i prefer to be alone.

Be strong and love myself. =)

Make changes to my life now, slowly..

Don't know what is right what is wrong, i just follow my feeling, towards the real me. =)

A statement by a friend, u have to learn how to love yourself before love others, maybe it is right, i have to learn how to love myself first.

Sometimes i might did many mistakes, now is the time to correct it, i have to learn how to live happily in this world, not only for myself, also for mom, hope my mom happy too, don't want to see her worry for me again.

=)

I will change all the thing, a new me.

说了又有用吗?

哈!可能大家的想法不一样吧,对我来说,两个人在一起只要对对方好,爱护对方,开心就好。太天真吧。。

只想说我会好好的爱你,只想看到你快乐,我不要求什么,愿有天你会找到一个真正能给你幸福的那个,而我会默默守护着你,直到永远,因为你在我心中永远都是我最爱的。

After Tuesday den official my semester break dy, i shud do what? Study for actuarial paper? I rili got no idea, i lost my confident, no more courage to think so far.

But what i can confirm is, after my semester break, is a new target for me and new hope. Hope this time wun make me disappointed again.

Smile =)

What i feel is the world is not that nice that i thought, why i said so? What u expected to have something, is not perfect as u wish.

I know if u don't commitment, is impossible to get money in this world, maybe is right, i should work hard for my external paper, cozs my family rili hope me to get it.

I will work hard, for myself and for my family also. =)

Juz a habit to write blog now.

Erm, 2day went badminton with my f6 friend, the feeling is not bad, cozs they will treat me like a real friend, at least no nid to defend myself at the moment. Just like normal, they chat non-stop at there, juz left me and tau juan play at there only, i'm kind a person dun like to socialize, maybe i'm not interest to care other's ppl stuff.

Sometime i think, and also wondering, i will alone in this world until the day i die, the probability is high, cause i'm not really like to social, i also duno wat is romantic.

Sometime really so hope got one ppl can accompany me, when i bored at least some one will chat with me, when i wan to go out, no nid to shopping alone. Lolz, think too much, no one will like u d la. Be prepare to be alone, u will use to it.

Happy alone!! =)

那么的一天

晚了,心情还是那么差,每次看到戏里的男女主角在一起,就会有酸酸的感觉,以为付出了,全心去关心一个人就可以得到爱,太天真了。

从小其实就是很想得到爱,可是很多时候都是没信心,因为在一个普通的家庭出生,也不是长的帅。也有对几个女生表白过,一次又一次,被伤害。像我一无是处的人,哪有女生会喜欢我啦,又没钱,所以很多时候都是默默的守候着我爱的女生,可是也有些时候还是忍不住表白了,明知被拒绝还是做了,很笨吧。

以为找到了一个明白我的女生,傻傻的,待在他身边,一直骗自己,以为她是关心我的,慢慢的知道其实他只是当你一个普通到不可以的朋友,她会嫌你的关心烦,有时也是敷衍我。

不过发现自己真的很喜欢他,会傻傻的等一晚不睡,为的是他一封信息。有时还傻到以为她发生什么事,担心了一阵天,原来她不想我烦她。记得一次他说下雨了,淋湿了,那一刻我真的很想在他身边,怕她冷了,好傻吧,明知她并不需要你,她身边太多其他人会保护她。有时经过服装店,我却想到她,如过穿在她身上一定很美吧,她知道的话,一定说我想太多。好想去关心她,保护她,看到她伤心,我比任何人都伤心。

其实真的很希望在我生日那天能和我爱的人庆祝,一年又一年,别人总会说有一天吧,你会找到你爱的人,但是从我爱的人口中出来,那种痛,无法形容。很多的好想,好想开心的时候可以和你分想。在别人眼中我就是那么酷,无情,我却在你眼里那么弱,因为我只会和我相信的人说我的心事,在别人面前我总会装得很强。

真的好想,哈!醒吧,不会有人会喜欢你的,想个木一样,不懂浪慢,就让我这一生一个人过吧,我的心不会复原了,真的很痛。只想对拒绝过我的人说,你们是对的,我那么没用,我会祝福你们的。

在别人面前要笑,知道吗? =)

Finally i can rest for a week after so many days so suffering for the final exam. But i'm still worry for my result, i'm rili done badly on my exam, jz hope at least got 3.0 above.

Still got 1more sub den i'm free, wohoo!! Den i can go shopping and gather with my beloved friends.

Holiday, I'm coming!!

Sumtime rili undecide what to do.

I'm so useless rite? I also noe that.

Be strong. =)

Still got few paper more. Remember, u work hard not because of others, is because of ur future!! Don't always think for others, be selfish so that won't get hurt anymore.

Smile :)

After so many things happen, only i know that who are really care about me, but not you.

Maybe that time i was so care for u, but i always tell myself maybe u are busy, but now i understand dy, u won't care bout my stuff. I won't keep reporting my stuff anymore, cozs i noe u wun care at all.

A true friend always will be there for u however how busy they are, a true friend will borrow their ear to u when u are down, a true friend will always care about u, but not say u r the one who disturb them or ask u to go away.

I understand that, i'm not the one that u need and i realize that u r not the one that i want. Thank for the 'care' that u gave me, but that was not i wanted.

You will be always a normal friend for me, that all i can give.

Another new day for me. Yahoooo!! =)

Won't let myself hurt anymore. Let is go. The one who really care for u, u can feel their truth heart but the feeling isn't like this.

I know who and care for me and who are not, thanks for those that caring for me and to those think that i'm not worth, i would tell them, i don't need u as my friend.

Smile!! =)

如果你肯给我机会,我一定会!!

Copied from Facebook;

你敢不敢向所有对你有好感的异性大方的介绍:这是我女朋友,我唯一认定的女人?

你敢不敢拒绝暧昧,改掉单身时的臭毛病和所谓的‘红颜’保持清晰的距离?

你敢不敢不给自己留后路,全心全意的只做她的 Superman ?

你敢不敢在她发脾气骂你滚开时候紧紧的抱住她求饶?

你敢不敢在兄弟说你窝囊的时候仍然拉着她的手说:“我就贱贱的爱咋咋的? ”

你敢不敢抱着她睡觉却什么也不做,哪怕歪念头已经占了上风?

你敢不敢为她努力,把自己变的成熟稳重优秀,然后一如既往的爱她?

你敢不敢有点儿长性,别得到了就不珍惜,若即若离你才得劲儿?

你敢不敢经常抱抱她亲亲她,让她觉得她在你眼里总是可爱,觉得你一直喜欢她需要她?

你能不能记住你们的每一个纪念日,记住今天是在一起的第几天?

你能不能在她无理取闹胡思乱想的时候,给她足够的安全感,不会对她不耐烦?

你能不能在很冷很冷的冬天也坚持送她回去,抱抱她,看她上楼再离开?

你能不能时刻都牵着她的手,无论是过马路逛公园,或是在朋友师长面前?

你能不能细心的记住她说的话,留意她喜欢的东西,保管她送你的礼物?

你能不能不欺骗她,不冷落她,不忽略她?

你能不能为她24小时开机,在她做噩梦的晚上有人可以哄她睡觉?

你能不能不只把她当花瓶,有心事会对她说,有决定也会找她商量?

你能不能不再大手大脚,只为了攒下钱带她去吃好吃的,去想去的地方?

你会不会把她介绍给你的父母,哪怕她不是他们喜欢的类型?

你会不会在争吵后主动道歉,哪怕她错,你也不忍心责怪?

你会不会打心底认为她是天底下最好的女孩,一旦拥有别无所求?

你会不会在她生病时领她去打针,然后看她害怕的憋红的眼睛,紧紧的抓住她的手抱着她?

你会不会‘不小心’就记得她爱吃的、她不爱吃的,她对什么过敏她害怕什么虫子?

你会不会带她去看新上映的电影,在她手里塞上一个冰激凌,然后她笑你笑,她哭你哄?

你敢么、你能么、你会么?

你敢在公众面前说“我爱你”吗?

你敢在给所有人看的博客里留下你给她的情书吗?

你会在她哭泣的时候抱着她吗?

你会在谈起你们的未来时信心十足的样子吗?

你会给她写谁也看不懂只有她懂的温柔句子吗?

你会温柔的叫她宝宝吗?

你会在她看到某个东西不舍的眼光时想到偷偷买下它,送给她吗?

你会为了她偷偷的去挣一点钱,只是为了给她买一份礼物吗?

你会坚定的爱她吗?

Understand dy. Something can't be forced de.

That not your's den forever won't be your's.

Be happy and smile =)

只是想简简单单的爱着一个人,真的那么难吗?当你不理我的时候我会生气,不是因为什么,是因为我在乎你,如果是别人,我不会有任何感觉,我也没空去理别人的事。每当你不理我的时候,我会在想,可能你在忙吧,或者是你电话没钱了,都会去想些理由来安慰自己。说真的我很讨厌别人不理我,有时打给你,你没接我电话,其实我在等你,可是你却当没一回事,可能你会认为我太无聊了吧。

我和你之间最大的分别就是我太在乎你,你却一点都不在乎我。算了吧,我就是那种不值得任何人珍惜那种人吧,不能怪别人,有些事是注定的。

Got a feeling that want to cry, but i didn't. I was so down, today didn't say a word to my family also, got no word to express my feeling, just felt that i was alone.

I was lose all my thing, now only i noe nothing is belongs to me.

Knowledge? I don't think i was a clever guy.

Love? Impossible.

Friend? I thought i have but i'm wrong.

So, i was nothing.

Yesterday i really can't believe what i saw and i was stoned, it's like a knife stabed into my heart, the feeling was sux!!


Just know that is ur friend did it, but one day it will become the reality and I really don't what my reaction at the moment. I really so scare that day coming. I was so scared, I hope myself can be aside of u and bless for u, but sometime i rili can't do that, i'm human, i got my feeling also, sometime really hope that u can care for me also.

I really don't know what i shud do. What i noe is i rili love u but i was scared, i don't want to get hurt anymore, i noe what i do now is hurting myself, i noe u don't even have a little bit feeling to me also, but what to do? Sometime i felt tired also, the more u give but nothing in return, is such frustration, when u care for a person but that person like dun nid ur care.

I noe mayb at the end i will get nothing, but now i really got no idea what shud i do.

God tell me please.

Just an coincident i saw that u put in a relationship in ur status, at that moment, i was freeze, got no idea what to do. After a minute, then i tell myself, i have promise that i will leave when u find the one that u need, i will do what that i promise.

So from now, i won't disturb you anymore, i wun tell u that i miss u, i wun ask u go out with me.

I will pray and hope u r happy, just let everything that happened be my sweetest memory. U r the last in my life, not i can't find the better, but u r the best in my heart.

Thought that u r understand me, yes sometimes, thought u r care for me, yes last time.

Damn frustrated, I thought when u treat others with ur heart and that person also treat u with the heart, but i'm wrong, from a article, i know that, when that person knew that u so care for him/her, then he/she won't so care for u, cozs they onli enjoy with the care that u give and that person know that however they not care for u, u also will care for them so much.

I shouldn't!!

I shouldn't!!

It is so accurate =)

一、天蝎不喜欢浮华的爱情,只想平淡地爱,但要刻骨铭心。

二、天蝎有时的想法很极端,比如和恋人正好好的,他/她还会想:假如有一天要是分手了,对方也会很后悔,因为自己给对方的爱是别人代替不了的。

三、天蝎不喜欢争吵,大多数情况下会用沉默来代替内心的不良情绪。但若遇到十分气恼的情况,他/她会发威,结果是口不择言,不用费劲地说世界上最恶毒的语言说出来给对方听,中伤对方。但过不了两天,天蝎自己会主动反省,为自己的言语感到失态和后悔。

四、天蝎喜欢钻牛角尖,同一件事情发生后,到天蝎这里就被他们多想了三圈,而那些冒出来的想法大都是胡思乱想的结果,最终天蝎自己还会反问:为什么会是这样呢?其实他们所想的事根本就没发生。有点古怪哦!

五、天蝎怕孤独,对于感情也十分敏感,对方的一个小小的动作或眼神,他们都会看在眼里记在心里,接下来的事情就是天蝎开始猜想对方的心思了,猜来猜去,是为了让对方感觉到自己的用心良苦和自己对恋人深刻的爱。

六、天蝎不喜欢向恋人说出自己的一些想法,因为害羞或是别的什么原因,天蝎自己也说不好。他们更喜欢或是希望对方能猜出他们的心思来,若对方没有能猜中天蝎的想法,天蝎便会对恋人很失望,觉得恋人不了解自己。

七、天蝎座的人有一点刘若英为爱痴狂里的那种人的特点,对待爱情是傻傻的,直直的。总之,如果你爱天蝎的话,他/她表面的所作所为只是为了证明他/她是多么地爱你。珍惜天蝎的爱吧,因为他们是很认真的在爱着你。

八、天蝎的他/她很希望能和对方有默契,达到共识。于是便会做一些近乎讨好对方的事情,但这并不能算是卑微,哪怕最后只得来对方一个甜甜的笑,对于他们来说,就是一种莫大的满足和成就。

九、天蝎平常的脾气是典型的外冷内热,但能被他们热到的人并不多,越是天蝎表面对你很热情的话,那大都能证明一点,他/她对你没有太大的兴趣。反之,表面上对你带搭不理,其实内心已经在向你靠近了,当然也不是每次都是这样,这就要看你的眼力了。说不定天蝎烦你烦得要死,连那份表面的热情也赖得装给你看。

十、不得不讲的是,天蝎座的人有时有些神精质,自愚的能力也挺强。从他们嘴里可以不太困难地听到一些奇怪的话,他们不以为然,也不会理会恋人听到这些话之后的反应。

十一、天蝎的人很怕自己身边有亲密关系人的否定,比如家人恋人对他们的一些指责或是批评,并不是天蝎不勇于承认错误,而是他们认为连自己身边的人都不信任自己,这会使他们暗自很伤心

十二、至于天蝎的那个方面,就略过吧,经历过的人应该更有发言权,(网上随处可见关于天蝎那方面很强的言论),不说了

十三、天蝎爱起来就像火山爆发,恨起来就像冰山一角。这个还是有些道理的,天蝎的爱有时会让对方受宠若惊,甚至有些防不胜防的感觉。

十四、天蝎天生就有一种保护人的欲望,外出购物的时候他们的本能是要首先掏腰包的,不是虚荣,而是一种给自己自信的途径,看到对方满足的样子便倍有成就感。总之他们喜欢自己处于强势。

十五、天蝎很少会对人说:求这个字。因为他们觉得求人不好,好像会影响自己的形象,所以宁可这件事不做了,也不会轻易开口向别人求助,他们只是不想欠别人的。

十六、天蝎有些自我折磨的倾向,一旦失恋之后,便会多日走不出失恋的阴影。内心渴望着对方能回心转意,当然是在对方先提出分手的情况下,虽然如此,倘若真的对方有所回头,天蝎又会因为那骨子里天生的冷酷而断然拒绝对方。

十七、天蝎在一些事情上是有预感的,即使有些事恋人没有如实地讲出来,天蝎的他/她却早已了解实情,但却不会当面揭穿恋人,内心还会有些得意,认为对方的小伎俩小想法早已尽在自己的掌握之中。

十八、天蝎在和恋人在一起时,就会变得很傻,傻到好像世界是静止的一样,他/她可能不会考虑任何现实中会发生的事情,以及周围人对他们的看法。彷拂天蝎一和恋人见面,便会钻进一个不透明的盒子里,傻傻的,还算是傻得可爱吧。

十九、当天蝎和自己的恋人闹别扭时,开始的时候他们会很坚决,大有一种决不首先向对方妥协的势气。时间一久,天蝎就开始想对方的好了,于是自己主动找上 门和恋人和好如初就像什么都没有发生过。虽然蝎子的内心是有些气的,但一见到恋人就又“傻”过去了,这就是我所了解的天蝎,自我矛盾加自我折磨的天蝎。

二十、天蝎座有时会宠坏了恋人,即使一个天蝎的女生也会像个“男生”一样宠着自己的恋人,难怪网上有种说法说天蝎座的女生能活得像个男生一样,因为好多事她们完全有能力处理和解决,甚至是在男友面前也会抑制不住自己去做一些该由男生来做的事。

二十一、天蝎MM不喜欢在男人面前示弱,即使这件事本该男人来做,但当她们看到自己的男人在做事的时候不足够利落和潇洒时,她们便会忍不住去揽下来,自己做。

二十二、天蝎对恋人正面的批评很反感,甚至是恼怒。并不是不愿意听恋人的劝告,因为那些批评的语言会让他们觉得对方是在羞辱自己,如果对方以一种开玩笑的语气讲他们的缺点,他们会更乐意接受并且在内心感激恋人的包容。

二十三、天蝎女生表面坚强,嘴巴硬,说话狠。其实内心很容易受到伤害。当自己的恋人做了让她们很难过的事,她们心里默默地难过,感觉自己像个受伤的,却勇敢站在人群中的雕像一样,漠然地看着身边那些恋人们的甜蜜欢笑。这时的天蝎说话比平常少得多,没有心情再像平时那样和周围的人谈笑风声。

二十四、当发现周围的人都躲着天蝎的时候,天蝎们也觉得很好笑,可能有的人还会认为天蝎是个怪人,有点喜怒无常的感觉,这一点虽然不及巨蟹那么明显。蝎子心里倒会想的是,这样也挺好的,省掉了和身边的人应付的话语,只是孤独多了一些。

二十五、天蝎的同性朋友并不是很多,因为他们对朋友的定义好像有点严格了,那种酒肉朋友他们是决不看在眼里的,就算表面上和你有说有笑,内心却厌恶得要死。他们当然能很清楚地知道自己需要什么样的人来做朋友,只有那些有信誉够义气很少玩嘴的人,才会让天蝎放下心来和他们做交心的朋友。顺便说一句:天蝎对自己的朋友是很好的,自己吃一些亏也无所谓,只要朋友能在他们需要的时候陪他们聊聊就足够。对于朋友的一些事情,他们也会当做是自己的事情一样,热心去帮助对方。如果你身边有一个天蝎的好朋友的话,应该是比较幸福的哦!

二十六、再说说天蝎的异性朋友吧,在没有正式的男友或女友之前,天蝎的异性朋友还是不少的。因为他们觉得那是一种象征,象征自己是惹人喜爱的。这句话有点儿过头!至于要不要发展成为男/女友,他们倒是几乎每个人都想过,不是花心,而是天蝎天生爱瞎想,想像一下和某某人如果在一起会怎样对于他们来说是件很有趣的事,但只是想像,很少会主动行动。

二十七、一旦天蝎有了男/女友,原本很好的异性朋友关系就变了。天蝎会很有分寸地和他们来往,决不轻易越限。相反,如果天蝎的异性朋友有了他们的男/女友,天蝎一样会保持距离的和好友们来往。,天蝎们真诚地希望朋友能得到自己的幸福。

二十八、恋人之间在要分手的那段时间,经常会打电话不接发短信不回之类的。天蝎对于这样一种状况是非常恼怒的。他们认为就算要分开恋人也犯不着躲着自己。对方越是没反应,天蝎越是说一些恶毒的话来中伤或是讽刺恋人,以此来抒发内心的愤怒。

二十九、在天蝎刚认识一个新的恋人之后,天蝎的行动便开始了。即使发现了对方的有意隐瞒或欺骗,天蝎并不会当时就揭发出来,而是一步步地看着对方露出马脚,不能自圆其说。到那时候,天蝎再冷冷地扬长而去。虽然天蝎也许会有些生气,但因为最终当面揭穿了对方的谎言,那是会让天蝎很有成就感的!在内心永远都会鄙视那个欺骗自己的人。所以,友情提醒一句:千万别骗天蝎,一旦被发现,会面子扫地的。其实天蝎只是很专情, 不许对方骗他们感情而已。

三十、天蝎喜欢占卜,什么星座啦属相啦,他们都比较关心。对于一个刚认识不久的恋人来说,天蝎们会很有兴志地查看关于星座配对啊,其实只是为了想证明一 点:自己的选择是正确的,如果碰到说两人不合的情况,天蝎会在心里告诉自己:这都是瞎说的!唉!蝎蝎啊,在这一点上真是有些自欺欺人。

三十一、天蝎对于结婚这件事,是有顾虑的。天蝎对恋人的了解是很有趣的。他们有一段时间只对恋人的某一方面进行了解甚至着迷。等过了这段时间,会急着去寻找恋人身上其他的方面,好好珍惜蝎蝎吧,他们的爱大多不掺杂质,纯纯的,傻傻的。

三十二、天蝎是害羞的,在公众场合总不太喜欢与恋人有太份亲密的动作,他/她会觉得有失大雅,即使在只有两个人的场合,他们也不太好意思把自己的激情全部释放,因为:蝎蝎们怕自己的热情吓坏了恋人。所以说:蝎蝎还是有顾忌的,远不象网上说的那样我行我素

三十三、女蝎蝎理解的世界上的男人应该是个顶天立地、勇敢、讲诚信的硬汉,但也要适时地懂得情调之类。这要求是不是有些高?但往往现实中天蝎没有那么地幸运遇到这样的男人。若遇到了女性化或是做事狭隘的男人,天蝎会把毫不留情地把他看扁的,然后痛骂一顿转身就走。 相反男蝎对自己的另一半要求是:要有女人味儿,而且越浓越好,这样他们骨子里的那股保护恋人的冲动便有了发挥的空间,男蝎不喜欢女强人或是太过幼稚的女人做他的妻子,他认为一个女人应该是聪明、勤奋温柔且爱家的。

三十四、综上所述,要做好一个天蝎的恋人,还是很不容易的(因为天蝎对恋人的要求有点儿高)同理,若你已成为了天蝎的恋人,也证明你非常优秀,至少在天蝎的眼里。

三十五、天蝎骨子里有伤感的成份,所以在遇到像这样的雨天,他们的心里就会“触景生情”,变得很温柔。实话的说,蝎蝎们平时并不是很柔情,蝎蝎是喜欢浪漫气氛的,当然有他们自己的方式。

三十六、蝎蝎的醋意是蛮足的,所以千万不要在这方面故意挑衅他们的忍受力,他们会很恼火的。如果别的星座有爱吃醋的人的话,那么蝎蝎能算得上是醋厂了,随时随地可能吃醋,即使是恋人有意的一些玩笑也会让他们难过好久的。

三十七、天蝎有时会口是心非,虽然其实星座的人也会这样,但天蝎……是那种不被理解的口是心非型。比如:小时候家人主动要为蝎蝎们买个玩具啊,糖果啊之类的,蝎蝎们明明心里想要,也会嘴上不承认。如果家人明白给他们买了的话,他们会很开心,但如果家人不买了,蝎蝎们又会自己偷偷难过好久。这逻辑是不是很反常啊?这就是蝎子,爱让别人猜心思的蝎子,口是心非!

三十八、蝎MM和蝎GG骨子里是争强好胜的,他们总是不服气为什么别人会轻易地超出自己,(尽管有时骑的是自行车!)这一点也很古怪。如果遇到蝎蝎生气的时候,那你就更不要和他们比了,比不过的。而且越是在恋人面前,越是要表现得自己很“强”,哪怕是蝎MM他们自己都说不清楚干嘛要这么做。

三十九、蝎蝎的心很软,比如:和恋人闹别扭了,不管是谁的错,只要恋人主动回头只要不是原则上的事,用不了几名“甜言蜜语”蝎蝎就软了,立马和恋人又腻在一起,好像什么都没发生过一样,虽然有时对方并不这么认为。

四十、蝎蝎的耐性是不好的。虽然网上有好多关于蝎蝎坚韧的说话,若是让蝎蝎面对一个又哭又闹的小孩,他们多半是会疯的。刚开始蝎蝎还会相对温和地对待并且不断提醒自己:要温柔要有耐心,若不见效果,那么便会是一顿发作,连吵带打武力解决!

God, please tell me what should i do?

Now onli i notice everything that i done not for myself, most of the time is for others, but in the end of the day, what i get in return is nothing.

I din say it out not mean i not care, i din ask not mean i dun wan.

I thought i found the one that unds me, but u have to unds, u nid her but she dun nid u.

Looking so long to find sum1 that unds me, but in the end..

Hurt so bad, but i just noe that i care so much for u, i will appreciate u, mayb in the end what i will get is more hurt, but i will never regret, in this world rili so hard to find another that unds me.

U can go to find the one that u nid, cozs i wun request anythg from u.

Be happy =)

New life.

No more live for the others, only for myself, forget the past.

New definition, i will never serious now, only for entertainment, the old me, Rest In Peace.

New mind, never trust others, only yourself.

Not i want to change but you let me knew that how stupid I am.
I will never do that in the rest of my life.

Be the cold blooded better than the warm blooded.

I can't!! I rili can't!!

Plz forgive me.

The word kept in my heart for a year finally i told her. Actually i expected that answer but i still will feel sad?

I hate the word "sorry"!! Don't ever let me hear 1more time!!

Sometime i prefer live in the world that is virtual, at least i could have what i want, and i was so sad that u told me a little bit or very little bit also dun have that kind of feeling, its killing me.

Yes, today is a special day, 1000years onli one time. 101010 and it is rili special day for me!! I hate it!! And i tell myself, i'm a lone ranger, from now i won't care other ppl's stuff anymore!!

I'm a deadman now, no feeling, no pain..

I hate myself!!!

Everything i done for u is too much, and the word u r describing me is stupid, i knew that, my care for u just a disturbance, from now i won't care for u since u don't need it, never find u anymore and i will focus on my study, i think it is the thing u want.

I hope as the time pass i really can forget u, and i can tell u, u r the person who hurt me the most!!

Think too much. I shud end it. =)

Let go is the best way.

Rili dunno wat i wan!!

I hope that u can care me more but i told u dun care bout me.

I hope that can go out with u but i dunwan to c u r not happy.

Sometime rili felt that i was so funny.

But 1 thing is real, i care about u, i juz hope that c u happy. =)

I knew that, but y i lying to myself?

All of it jz ur imagination. Wake up!!

Juz have nothing to do at the nite and juz write somethg happened in these few day ba.

As usual eriday went to class, and so stupid i am go and think, whether i choose the wrong course and today my mom ask me the same ques, am i regret to choose this course? and i answered her, am i have the opportunity to regret? no. i wun regret and i wun let myself to regret, once i chose it, den i wun regret, i will work for it, even though nw i rili suffer alot, can say duno erithg, but hope i rili can dun giv up and continue on it. I rili so hope u can support me also.

Juz duno y, i rili no confident to myself, all the thg of me, how to improve my confident? I rili got no idea bout it. Sum time i rili dream that how good if im a handsome guy. haha. funny rite? Even go out with friend i also will felt that, would the ppl will feel shame on me? bcozs im looks ugly.

Ppl say true heart is erithg, but i saw is most ppl onli look at the appearance first before judge at u. I remember last time during my muet speaking, my topic is does ur partner appearance looks good is the criteria to choose ur partner? And i think most ppl will hope that their partner is looking good. I rili dunno y sumtime i stil will dream bout that however i noe that what i dreamed is wun happen, cozs no ppl will wan to go out wit a guy and the surrounding ppls look at her bcozs she holding a ugly boy hand rite? Rili feel myself so funny.

Its ok, to be strong NICK!! I noe u can do it, as i said "Love a person not meaning that u must together with her, but hope that she will get the happiness."

Everything back to normal when holiday finish, i noe i have done something that hurt u, but i promiss never do that ever again.

But from that day, at least i noe sumthing, that is u care for me. I already treat u as a part in my life, not report everything to u but duno y i juz wan to share with u, wan u to noe. Same goes to u, i hope that to noe erithg bout u.

Just let erithg to go as normal, mayb the ending won't be the same, i hope so and i promiss i won't do that to u too.

Just trust me k?

Sorry if i make u sad, i duno wat happen to me these few day i was jz so down.

I promiss i wun let u feel sad again. Trust me k?

I do all the things bcozs i rili care for u so much.

Heart broken.

If u think is good for u den keep going on.

I will do as ur wish. Hope u will happy with it.

My 1st sem break

This holiday actually nothing special happen also, but have went alot of place, especial the day that go out with u.  Watched the Pirhana, it was a great movie, saw u r so scare at there, duno y i smile, nt bcozs of laughing at u, bt jz a feeling that can't be explain using word. But c from ur face, although u said u wun feel bored, but from ur face i noe that its nt a type of enjoying. Wun call u outing wit me d, jz dun1 to c u nt happy.

Then, on wed, the birthday celebration is so successfully, at first i though nt many ppl r coming, bt at last many was came, noe both of u happy of it, den i also feel happy too. Thx to u all, without u all it wun b success. =)

On thursday nite, me and my family went to a German restaurant to celebrating for my bro in law birthday, the restaurant is located at Jln Yap Kwan Seng there, it was hiding behind a building, if my sis didnt tell me the way, i sure cant find it. The food at there is looks nice, we ordered pork knuckle, sausage since those food is famous.

Then on saturday, i went to KLCC to meet my friends, but it was nt succeed, i also duno wat happen to me, i waited more than 30min den i went bek d, watever, maybe is my fault to expect eri1 is so punctual.

And last, i have decided to change myself, a totally diff of me, feel sick of others look down on me, i believe that without love i stil can survive, cozs i born to be lone ranger, tis my fate. U r the last in my life, bt u will in my heart, cozs i noe im nt the man that u wan, hope u can get a person that will love u more than i do in the future. =)

The attitude like me, no ppl will like the ppl with tis attitude. Im a lone ranger.

Sometime i rili hope that i got the courage to say that I love u. But i rili dunwan to hear the word 'sorry' again. i noe im nt good enuf for u. Juz can stay at ur side to take care of u, ntg much other than that.

Let go is the best solution, hope i wun regret =)

As usual, express my feeling here cozs it's the onli way to let me express myself, ya i noe, u will always be my listener but if continue like tat if u nt felt that im irritating, but i also felt that myself is so irritating.

Yesterd jz finished my Calculus mid sem exam, the situation is d same as the time that im in f6 that i still remember clearly, the first test of upper 6. That time i was done ntg on the paper and onli with a small part i noe how to do, and the situation almost is the same nw, many of the ques i also duno how to do. Its uni now, i cant get F for my exam, i have to get at least B for all sub so that i can grade within 3years. Sometime i rili felt so stress, my family member is so supporting me and put so much hope on me, and hope that i can be a actuarial, but i think i will make them disapponted. I rili cant unds that y my math is so weak.

Another thing, until nw i also have no courage to love u, i rili dun have the courage to tell u that i love u, i noe that i cant giv u anythg, i cant promiss u anythg. I noe myself is so negativity, but is the experienced make me cant be positive anymore, I loved few gal b4, eritime i got the courage to tell her 'i love u', ya i noe that, the answer is 'sorry.'. Actually thy no nid to tell me sorry cozs i unds myself well, im nt that type of gd guy, i dun have money, nt even handsome, nt even clever, im got no reason to let ppl to love me. My attitude nt even nid to say, is the worst, no patient, always critic ppl and neva critic myself. I rili so hate myself!! I noe many of the ppl so call 'friend' but in actual thy dunlike me also. I rili feel so meaningless, let me continue to be my lone ranger, i love u, i hope that u will get ur happiness, so tis call let go? I duno, but if u nid me. I will always there for u.

Stdy for 3weeks d, before i enter university i was so spirit say i wan to stdy hard and get the external paper for SOA, but after the 3week, dunno y my spirit is gone, juz feel very lazy, mayb u r nt here, last time v r in skol, when i c u i will bcome so spirit to stdy, cozs i wan to giv u the best future, but nw u r so far from me, and i noe that in ur heart stil got him.

2day i dun have class anyway and i promiss myself to stdy, at last i did ntg, sometime i rili feel myself so useless. The time im in tutorial, i was so scare i was called to answer the question, cozs at there i felt that i was a blank paper but others all did well, i lost my confident!!

Here is university d, no one can help me anymore, no tuition, no classmate that will help me, i noe im alone, but i will fight for it until the end, believe me, if one day i was success, i will give my erithing to u and tell u that "I love U!", but nt the guy like me nw.

I really got no idea what i should do, it getting harder for me to continue, cozs i knew that watever i do u wun saw it. Sometime i really felt frustrated, am i the type of guy that so so not outstanding that u wun saw me at all. Haiz..

So long never update my blog and nw i brieftly describe my uni life. Its one week of MMP ( Minggu Mesra Pelajar ), during that 1week, we can only sleep for 2hour eriday, and during that week, i can feel myself is floating on the floor, and fall asleep even im standing. Then we got no time to bath also, even take our lunch or dinner also nid to be very fast. But during that week, our senior rili so care for us and try to help us to get more time to rest, really appreciate that.

After MMP den our kuliah started, is very diff from secondary skol life, v have to find our place to go, and no ppl will tell u where to go. Then the lecturer also blah blah blah infront den ask u go dl the notes. Then some class also very far from each other dewan kuliah, den v have to rush.

Then tis week i can say got happy and not happy things also, happy things is i grow up d, i can independent by myself, the sad things is again, i miss u so much, bt eri time try to closer to u u will push me away. PLEASE dun push me away, i noe im nt enuf good, i try to improving myself, i will try my best to give u the best future. Anyway, i see u happy i also will feel happy, mayb u still love him, cant say mayb i think, its the truth, but i jz wish u can live happily, i didnt request anythg from u.

Then i will stdy so hard to achieve my dream, GO GO GO!!

Its the time

Time to leave my home d, and the sad things is u going so far, maybe we dun have much chance to meet anymore, hopefully u wun forget me. U will never though the people that i miss is u, cozs in ur heart got another him, its ok cozs i noe i can't give u anythg, as long as u happy den enuf. =)

Mom i will miss u! and my lovely home also. And i will miss u also, i noe u wun miss me, gambate ba, ur journey will be get harder, i will always be ur side.

Get ready

These few day rili quite bz with preparing the stuff to get into university, have to certify those certificate, ptptn loan, then the dressing for orientation, my living stuff. Sometimes feel tired of it.

Time pass so far, i'm 20 now, but i still looks like a small kid, scare this scare that, sometime wondering, can i to be independent to live alone? But i will try the best to change myself, not kid anymore d, some people at this age already people's father. U have to independent and no one will help u in the future, be strong =)

Work hard and never give up, until i achieve my goal!!

Few days ago, i went back to hometown, to have a visit to my relative, and that time went to many place also. Now onli i noe that perak also got alot nice view and historical  building like Kelly's Castle which have a touching love story behind, there was many nice temple which is built inside the cave like Kek Lok Tong, Nam Tien Tong and many more. But i like Kek Lok Tong the most since it was so natural and not commercialize like the others.

Here some photo from there.

Kelly's Castle

Its me. Haha

Kek Lok Tong, Its surrounded by the mountain, most natural =)

Tired. xD

My dream

Can't slp and writing blog, finally i got my first choice in UPU and got UKM statistic and i was so happy that it was a 3years course, thats the reason i choice UKM also.

UKM website down again, yesterday i was too tired and i thought wake up in the morning only download the form but once i check the website, i getting frustrated, the webpage is not available, but luckily i was accepted the offer.

I ready for the challenge and i want to graduate with flying colors and achieve my goal!! If after 3years, i was achieve what i should do and you are still available, i will tell u whats in my heart. Its my promiss, i just want to give u the life that better =) Miss u.

Photoshop

I just finished half of the photoshop book, the happy case is now i know to use level, hue/saturation, selection tools. Its a good beginning, but i know that my time was not many left, another 3weeks from now i should in the university, sometime i really quite worry of it, it will decide my future, if i got my first choice, then i will go for my dreamed job, if not then i will go IT field. But in actually, i love IT more than math, but what to do, in reality money really so important, don't tell me ur ambitious, if u don't have money, u got nothing!! Yeah, i'm admit that i'm that kind of materialistic people. U all can look down on me, but the experience on me, u all won't undsderstand!! Be myself, live for myself, the new style i should be =)

Finally I understand that

As the time pass, i just know that i really poor of friend, everytime signed in to msn, can't be deny that my contact list have many online contact but the 'friend' at there never find me, and everytime i'm the one who aggressively go and say hi to them. Sometime i really i feel myself was failed in my life, i'm really don't have friend? Ya, i got those 'friend', in word call friend but in reality they didn't treat u as their friend, they will treat u invisible. Ya, in word they will act like so care for u, but in reality they just don't want to add another enemy in their life.

In my life, i had fall in love with quite a number of girl, others ppl maybe will treat me as playing around, but i could say that i use my heart to treat them. I would say sorry to them, cause their caring make me misunderstand, and make me fall in love with them, and i know that no one will love me, i also know that i'm that kind of people that so irritating. U think that so funny when fall in love with one people? When u know that that people that u love actually don't have any feeling to u u think the feeling very nice? Ya, i'm admit that i really hope to have a relationship cause i just want a people to care for me, love me, is that too over? I'm really get hurt enough, i really not dare to think bout it anymore, i given up, its my faith.

Beside that, maybe my expectation to a friend is too much, I will hope a friend that will always care for me, understand me, the reality is actually i don't even have a friend, i'm lone ranger, eat alone, hang out alone, shopping alone. Maybe i'm a kind of friend that not worth other ppl to care bout me, same point, they just don't want add another enemy in their life.

Anyway i would say thank you to all those 'friend', cause without u all, i won't be so independent and strong, i won't die because of lonely!! Its me, i prefer to be alone, but not to pretend!!

Sory

Don't know why i feel lonely 2day, i just feel myself was isolated, thats why i choose to be silent, its different feeling already, i tried so hard to pull our relation closer but i'm really tired of it, since u all treat me as nothing, why don't we pretend we never met each other before rite?

This is the last time i will present, not i mean to do that, but u all didn't appreciate.

Celebration

Yesterday, there was a celebration for birthday of my sister and mother, since they are just few day different of date of birth. At the morning, we went to Midvalley to shoppping, and i was so lucky, the lucky draw from Wah Chan, i'm the one who got it, it was not a luxury thing but i show that i got the luck, hopefully it will help in my coming upu result.

Around 5pm, we depart from Midvalley to Puchong to the shabu shabu shop, its all u can eat, when u see those word, then u will eat 'die die', finally we all holding our stomach when we go home.

And at here i wish my mommy and my sis Happy Birthday!! I love u all!!

31May

The day that i never forget, as usual went to work, on my pc and start photocopy those stuff. Don't know why just feel a bit weird cause that time i was still working, i will hope that time pass faster, but today i feel like wan the time to be slower, 5month at there dy, quite miss my place and seat.

Sharp at 5.15pm, i go meet my supervisor, she ask me to pass all my job to my colleague, after pass all my job, then she ask me go her place, then she call all people gather (my section) and give me the present that they prepared, that time really feel quite touch, i though they will do nothing and let me leave but i'm wrong, they bought me 2 T-shirt. The another 3 contract which is so close to me d, bought me a cake, that time i rili feel like don't want to leave, but i have to, to continue my study.

Thanks u all!! I will forever remember u all and I miss U all!!

Weekend

This is how my weekend spent, saturday went Times Square watch Shrek 3D. Its my first time watch 3D movie, not that supreme that i though but it also a quite nice experience.

Then on Sunday, i bought my laptop backpack, duno is it i do the wrong decision to buy a big backpack, got a bit regret, but it can put alots of thg other than my lappy, its good for travel, but if say convenience, sure the smaller is look nicer and easy to bring, but now bought dy, ntg to think, have to accept it and maybe the time i went to uni its a good choice? maybe.

Today i will go back to my hometown because to solve some problem, i taken 2 days leave.

This problem also a dark spot in my life, i hope i really will end and at least i no need to worry bout that. Good luck! Wish to myself. =)

Time pass so fast, its mid of may now, stil got another 1month then i will noe where i gonna to go.

Think back, what i done in these 5 month? I rili cant give the answer, cozs i felt tat i was wasted 5month, except work i was done ntg. Last week on Mother's Day, i used my 4month salary to buy my laptop (its my purpose of work), tat was what i got for 4month, ntg other than that.

At last i can put it down, it the good thing, cause u r friend to me nw, learned hw to put down d. Love is can't be forced =). I think i'm more suitable to be single.

Happy go lucky!!

Stress!!

Feel so stress these few day, cause i'm the only guy in my section, almost every things also will call me to do first, but i'm not superman!!

'Nick!' Someone calling, and 'Nick!', there calling too. My job not yet finish here then there will calling me, aizs..

I really hope this month can pass faster, not mean that i want to leave my colleague but just tired of it, i will miss u all also =)

These few day rili so down, why the world is so complicated? Why got money, love those things?

Love can be a sweet thing but for me it just make me suffer, that what i experienced, treat a ppl with my heart and i was so stupid think that when u care the people that u love and try to protect her and try help her to solve all the problem, she will feel that, but i'm wrong, this world don't have such simple and pure love. First they will see ur outlook, i definitely not handsome. Second money, i also not rich. Third carrier, I'm don't have any also. I understand that, cause i'm rili nothing.

Beside love, lets talk friends, I don't think i rili have some close friend, even one. I tried b4 treat someone as my best friend and share all my thing with her/he, but actually just i though it is but he/she didn't treat me as friend also, stupid rite? Whats the definition of friend, just for use only? If they didn't need u anymore then no need to bother u? I think it is, really tired of it, maybe from now i will only believe myself, as i know no friend will care for me and can say i have no friend, the real friend.

Live so long in this world but still can count as fail in my life, the one i love not love me at all, the friend that i trust actually not bother me. Let it be, i will be strong to be alone.

Today is second day i'm home alone, really feel lonely, sms to u, u didnt reply me, i didnt call u cozs i scare im the one disturb u, i noe i shud nt continue like this since i noe that im in ur heart jz a friend, forever wont change, and i not the one u looking for, dunno why sometime cant stop myself thinking of u!

Sometime i really hate alone at home, eat alone, watch tv alone. Sometime tired of work but no one i can share with, i dont have many friend, that why my friend call me lone ranger. Not i dunwan to communicate with other but its my natural attitude, i prefer not to talk than i offence the other cozs most of the time when i open my mouth, others like cant hear what i talk and keep talking with others, onli u will patiently listen to me and care for me, i think that the reason make me misunderstand.

Maybe one day or that day wont come, i just waiting, i will never give up.

As usual went MidValley and have my dinner there, have dinner at Teppanyaki, can't say it not nice but just normal, the pros is u can eat it freshly once it after cooked and u can watch they cook live.

After my dinner, we watch a fashion show there and the most funny thing at there is got a games organized to win the cash voucher and a Malay aunty bring her boy go up and decorate her boy with all girl stuff, sure get a lot of focus from the people and won rm500 cash voucher. Can't imagine rite? Guy with handbag and scalf also, OMG!!

The Fashion Exhibition.

Today i was thinking, human work so hard actually is for what? Just for luxury life?

Last time i though study so hard should be get what i want and i should happy with the result but i'm wrong, i'm not happy at all cause i really don't know why i should do all those thing. If really i have a good job and have luxury life, but live alone there is meaningless, i will feel lonely. If u say i can find a partner, ya i tried, and get hurt at the last, and i know i'm not the man of another one, so i choose to be alone, maybe sometime i will feel lonely but at least i won't get hurt.

Life is weird, people always say me well planning but the reality is think too much, make me can't do decision in my life and make me always change my mind. If u found out the way of life is, show me please..

1time, 2times and more, u say the different but u do the different things, is me not enuf understand u or that is the reality, u just lying me?

Think too much maybe, hope u can get the happiness that u want, hope u will happy with ur decision, i will pray for u.

Great time with family

Today i have a great dinner with my family, this is the first time i treat my family ( pai seh to say it out also), we went a very famous restaurant in Klang, but the first thing u have to accept it cause u have to wait at least 1hour for the dishes!! Don't be surprise of that, cause you have to believe it it was worth to wait for it and you will see alot of people willing to wait for that.

We ordered fish, prawn, squid, vegetable, cramp, 'lala' and 1more type of prawn i don't know its name, and the dish that u must order and try it is 'lala', the soup of the dish is so nice and that the only one shop can make that tastes. The other dish also quite nice and the seafood at there is so fresh. The price at there also quite cheap, maybe is Klang price lolz.

You must try it cause it really so nice!!

This is the shop.

This the 'Lala', really very very nice!!

The type of feeling is no more there, the kind of friendship is gone, no more meaning to continue that, just choose to give up on that and start my journey. In my journey of life there might be many of 'friends' but most of the time i cant find the thing that i expect, so i choose to be alone, cause i born as a lone ranger.

Its happen again, forget it nick! I know u can do it!

I know i misunderstand what u wan, i feel so sorry, no next time i promise k?

I hope its a new beginning.

So so so

So fast i worked for 2month dy, think back the first day i don't know anything but now i can independent do my job. Learned so much, learn to communicate with people, more independent and now only i know that networking is so much important. I don't know i should work until when but now i enjoy my job, cause my colleague was treated me so good, make me don't want to leave.

This picture was taken when i walking back from Lrt station to my house, it make me feel that this world still got a lot wonderful thing.

Flashing backward

As i grow older, i will think back all the old incident in my life, start to think that am i done the wrong thing in the past.

Think back the time i just came to kl, everything at here was so strange to me, cause i don't know any place at here, then i study in a school that no one that i know, the first few day at there was so so lonely at there, cause no one will talk to me, i remember the third day of my schooling, there was a guy finally talk with me, and now we are good friend, and he was helping me so much in my life at here, i was so glad i have a friend that so care for me.

During the two year study at there, a girl was changed my life, she make me know what the meaning of study, i really want to thanks her, but i never say it out. During that two years, we are having so much of fun time together, having tuition together, study together. We are argue cause of thing but at the last we will still are friend, thanks for your understanding. Maybe many people will ask me why i can improve so much in 1year, i will answer them because of you, but it maybe too late now, but at least i tried my best. Now we are not get the excellent result but at least enough to fulfill our dream, i will always remember u, or maybe some day there was a miracle will happen, who know. I just hope u can get your happiness, god bless u!!

Argh..

Eri time cut hair also like that, didn't ask me den straight away help me cut short. Really gonna burst!!

Wondering where can i find a shop that make me satisfy.. Aiz.. =(

Now nothing can do de, just have to wait my hair long again. Sienzzzz..

Once again

Don't know why i was so easy feel down, i just feel lonely, from the moment i born, i'm that type of hardly to trust someone else, and it also some incident prove me that human are not trusty. I know many friend, cause i changed 3 school, know a lot of people also, but many of them make me frustrated, said is the best friend but most of the time the one who betray you is your best friend. I got once betrayed by my best friend, is the love matter, but i just angry that why you can't tell me the truth but have to lie to me? I can accept it if u straight tell me, maybe some of the time i'm quite stubborn, but i know that love cant be forced. Best friend should share erithing in the heart rite?

I don't know why i felt that the people around me is dislike my presence, and i know sometime i'm the one irritating, so most of the time i prefer to keep silent, so that won't make the environment like so cool, its the best solution rite? Maybe like this i will lose many friend but i prefer that, the real friend will understand me.

And when u know a people more and more, u will start to know their 'real' attitude, what i mean is some of the people is look so kind at outside but the heart is 'black', when the time they need you will treat you so nicely, but when the time they don't need you anymore, they will turn into other people, for example when u try to ask her some question, then they will answer "for what you want to know? you don't have to know that rite?" Another type is that people in the heart is so so much dislike you, but they will so fake that still can smiling at you, I hate that type the most!! If don't like then straight talk la, i don't need the friend like this, maybe they will think that you don't know bout it, but the truth is I can see through your eye.

Me is me! Take it or leave it, it's my style!

Thinking

Sometime i really wondering what i want actually, i so easy change my mind, i remember last time when i was lower 6, i enter physic class cause my ambitious that time is become a great engineer, maybe that time not mature enough, think that the world is so easy, dreamed to create something is great enough to let the whole world recognize me, but as time pass, i know that it is a impossible mission.

When the time i was upper 6, that time maybe i want to prove to someone then i try so hard to improve my result, and maybe hear many from my sis that become a actuary is a great thing, but becoming a actuary need brilliant and great result, den i plan go for statistic. Statistician can take external paper for actuary, that my dream ( become an actuary ).

I was applied for statistic, hope that this time i won't change my mind again, and i blessed that i could enter that course and go for my dream! I want to be success, I know my life was a failure but at least i want to prove that im not a useless people.

Finally

After suffer for 2month waiting my STPM result, the day is come, on 25 Feb its my 'big day'. I applied leave on that day to get my result, that day was my company celebrating Chinese New Year, but i have to choose either go work or go take result but i choose to get my result, i was so so worry bout my result, the 2 days before it i really can't sleep. I worry that i will get a very bad result since i knew that i done many mistake in my exam.

On that day morning, i went to Jabatan Pendaftaran to apply for new identity card since many of my friends are complaining my identity card is so so 'nice', the picture also can't see clearly my face already. Around 8.30am i reach there and i used 30min to finish all those things. But in my plan, i though i will be took a long time thats why i go there so early, after that i got no place to go since my result will come out on 12pm, then i ask my friend outing. The time of waiting is like very very long, one hour like waiting for whole day.

Then around 12.30pm only me and my friends go to school to take result, but the the time we reach there, is such of frustration that our class teacher got class to teach, we have to wait until 1.40pm to get our result. Me and my friends can only sit at there and see people get result, the feeling is so sucks!! At there, some of the people was so happy and some of them are crying. A part of them aim for perfect score bt can't archieve it.

Finally the time was come, i was holding my result on my hand, my hand was shaking, i really don't know what to do that time, i was so scare once i open my result and i saw those 'C', once opened it, i saw my first subject, pengajian am was get an A, i was so suprise, i was never expect that, but lucky all the subject was above B. Cause the criteria to get the course that i want at least must get cgpa 3.0 and above, i was so happy that i was a step nearer to my dream, and i want to thank a person, that person changed my life, is because of her make me got the momentum to study. I wan to say that whatever happen in the past just forget it, i hope she can find her happiness and also the future that she want.

Different kind of feeling

Just feel the time pass very fast, its a month i work, i found that study is more comfortable, finish class just around 2something in the afternoon then can take a nap, but now working, whether you feel sleepy or not, you also have to work. 


Sometime i will feel down in the company since there is no friend at there, maybe working environment is like that, always have my lunch alone. Nothing can do then i will sms my friend, and i felt that i need you more now, its diff feeling than in school that time, its kind of feeling that cant use a word to explain it. 


All of my friends also busy-ing with working, then feel like all of us have a gap between us, its not the feeling like last time anymore, without felt stranger but now it is. I think is our time together is less and lesser.

A special day

2day i went midvalley for celebrating my friend birthday, at 1st i planned for next Sunday since that day is her birthday eve, but she was not free on that day however i ask her on 3weeks ago, at first i really feel a bit angry la, but after that then nothing already, i forgiven her.

We went to Sushi Zanmai, its a quite nice restaurant, good serve service and reasonable price also. There have various type of sushi to choose, but you won't able to taste all the sushi since your stomach not that big. We tasted some of the salmon sushi, it quite fresh, and maybe i like salmon alot.

I feel very sorry for my friend since today was too many people queue at the cinema and can't bought the ticket and maybe make her bored and i can see from her face also. It was too sudden and I haven prepare my gift to her, sorry ya, I thought want to give her a surprise but at the end i make her felt bored. I promise next time i will give you a better birthday celebration. At here wish you early Happy Birthday!! Hope all the best for you.

Another life begin

10Jan
Started work for 1week already, at first i was not use to it because work is much longer time than study, and last time i always take nap in the afternoon, now work cant take nap d. Sometimes really feel sleepy after my lunch, but have to work also. After 1week, started familiar with the work and i can do my work faster.

On Friday, our supervisor was asking us for a meeting, talking bout our working attitude, hmmm, is the sure we get scolded since she said that we should start our work on 8.15am but some of them was still enjoy their breakfast when the clock show 8.45am(I'm not included since my working time is start from 8.30am). Then talk about our productivity, now we have a range that minimum must hand in quantity of 50 at least, if not have to stay back but cant clam for the over time. I think its not a difficult for me since i always more than that.

My contract is start from 4jan until 28feb, i still waiting for my supervisor extend my contract, hope so. If not then i have to find another job. It not a very good salary job but its a good job since work in office is better than work as a promoter that have to stand at there for whole day.

Sometimes i felt that working was so boring since everyday do the same job, everyday wake up the same time, now i know that i should appreciate my study time. And the most sad things is that night i was called a friend, just want to know that she was fine, but what she say is "talk la, since is u call me". Is it i'm really that irritating? Is the way to talk with a friend or i expect too much? After that i answered " Nothing" and she continued "Then we should end our conversation". Maybe i expect too much, just i wan to know how was her life but she got nothing to talk with me.

But the good things is still got a few good friend are still care for me, i feel glad, at least i got some good friend. And i learn one thing, you treat the others nicely but the one that u treated nicely he/she not compulsory to treat you good. Choose your friend wisely.

New Year Countdown

31Dec
I went countdown with friends, this year i swear to myself must go there cause i'm never go out for a countdown event, what a pity. Last time (2008 countdown) i fail to attend since no friends wan to join me. Since this year they organized it then just join and i waited this moment for so long.

I took LRT at 8pm and reach Times Square to find a friend first since he finish work at 8pm. Once i reach there, he sms me that he can't attend, WTH?! That time i really feel frustrated bout it. ( But at last he was there for the countdown, i was forgiven him ) Then i walk around ar Times Square, Sg. Wang and also Pavilion cause i waiting for KY ( My best friend ) who was still working and finish at 10pm. But i fail to meet him cause i forget to ask him which floor he was work for.

At 9.30pm, i went to Sg. Wang main entrance waiting for the countdown concert. Erm, that time got a bit upset since i was alone!! Around 10pm i found my another gang of friend and joined them ( at first i was plan to join this gang but frustrated cause someone ffk me ). Around 10.45pm Ky and Kj reach there and joined us.

At there saw a lot of people plying with those spray and since got nothing to do at there and my friends and i bought the spray and started the spraying game. Huhu, Fun time was begin, most pity is Fleming, we all attack her and ky use water to spray on her, pity hor? And she was the only girl went there also ( i mean our gang ). Then we also walking around and we get sprayed by the other people and girl is the most dangerous at there since all guys are finding some one to spray on.

Waiting and waiting, finally countdown time!! 10,9,.....,1 all people shouted 'Happy New Year!!' and the tradisional firework, it really very very different feeling when u was so close to it. Some kind of romantic feel... Haha. I use my phone to record down it, but not a full length since my phone memory was full. Then at 12.30am we go home, it really a very memorable day for me.

All the people keep spraying. Maybe through the picture can't see it.


Firework part2


Firework part1